My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
