Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
