wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
