Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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