turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
