"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize