Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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