First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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