sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
