idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
