Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
