omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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