Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
