You're so nebulous sometimes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
