I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
