sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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