Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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