u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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