I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
