she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
