drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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