your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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