Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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