Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
