Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize