YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
