Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
