You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize