so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
