Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Who did Billy Mays play for?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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