i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
