Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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