And the cops told us we were all naked.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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