Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
