just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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