I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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