no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
