Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
