I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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