it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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