They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize