Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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