I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
