walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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