Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
