Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
