A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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