I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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