I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
