the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
