11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dual....:-)
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
