i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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