I want to make a zoo with you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
