Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
