I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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