I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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