he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize