why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
