And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
