you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize