So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
