ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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